Working as a career woman for the last 29 years, 17 years as a working mum life can feel pretty busy!
When you have ambitions and a job where you need to be present at for now, whilst building your online presence, which includes building a personal brand it can be challenging to prioritise and balance.
You are needed and want to be at home, your job takes 10-12 hours a day, you need to be at the events and foster business development, you have friends, you might want to exercise, you have hobbies…. it really is a lot!
There’s no magic answer and as soon as you find one you realise you have to adjust it again because the demands change, the kids routines, at home, at work or your own expectations!
The kids grow and need something new or get a new hobby or join a new club. You get a new client and it is across town and the main contact loves early morning meetings. Whatever the case as soon as you get it right, it changes AGAIN!
So what can we do?
- Set priorities.
- Prioritize connection and relationships.
- Let go of the guilt!
Sounds easy right? Let’s explore.
When you know what you value it is easier to set your priorities. Priorities change but keep a running list of your current top 5.
Maybe they are impacted by your goals or your vision of yourself and ‘the perfect mother’ or ‘the dream’.
Put it on paper or journal and revisit it regularly also use a post planner for your online business and try and stick to it.
Once the priorities are documented refer to them when you are making decisions. Use the priorities you set to help you build a roadmap and to help you balance.
For example, if you prioritise exercising for your health (mental and physical) and you have a goal to exercise 3 times a week than you can use that priority when deciding between a coffee with a friend at versus a last-minute invite to a business development networking lunch.
When you set the priorities keep in mind that connection and deep relationships have been proven to have significant impacts on your health and longevity, on your success and on your happiness.
Connection is at the intersection of health, success and happiness and deep relationships are really life’s magic ingredient. So, if you want to be happy prioritise connection. If you want to be healthy and live a long, healthy life – prioritise connection. And if you want your career to be successful, prioritise connection.
Spending time with friends and family is key try and challenge yourself to find a way to prioritise and plan your other stuff around it. The studies are very clear and it is about deep connection not big parties and fancy networking so there is a way to make it work for all personality types.
Let go of the guilt!
Don’t be so hard on yourself and go back to your priorities, including connection and start to revisit your time and how you spend it. Are you spending your time in a way that suits your priorities? Including family time? Are there things that take your time that are not key to your values and priorities?
Find those things! Identify them and outsource them! And let go of the guilt – yes it costs money but if you are a business woman your time is worth more.
Be creative with how you outsource – is there a student that might be cost effective? Is there virtual assistant option? Is there an opportunity to crowdsource? Unless you have a love for cleaning you should spend time on your priorities not it.
Unless you get satisfaction doing laundry – stop! There is no limit to what is available these days: online groceries, meals delivered with fresh ingredients (or not), mobile tire changing, mobile car servicing, housecleaning, ironing services, amazon shopping, etc.
And let’s look at what you do that your husband or spouse could help with? Are you not encouraging him or putting barriers or low expectations in the way? Do you redo things that he does because he didn’t do it right? Do you reclean because his cleaning is not at the level you expect? Do you ‘audit’ the lunch he packed the kids? Do you retain the decision-making power and tell him what to cook on his night?
Let go of the guilt that it might not be your way or perfect! Same for your kids if they are old enough to help. Let them and be okay with some imperfection!